my story

Hi, I’m Brooke - an outdoor enthusiast born in Oregon, raised in Washington, and currently based in (southern) California.

Adventure and exploration have been constant features of my life since childhood. I spent much of my early years in the vast, enchanting wilderness of the Pacific Northwest - camping under starry skies, swimming in alpine lakes, and backpacking with my family to far-flung destinations in the Cascades, Olympics, and beyond. By the age of ten, I had learned to navigate with a topographic map and compass, to identify dozens of native plants and wildflowers, and to coexist safely with wildlife. I perfected the art of roasting marshmallows, caught and released dozens of rainbow trout, and started a lifelong practice of journaling and creative writing in the great outdoors.

It was a wonderful time.

I carried that love of all things wild and adventurous into young adulthood, continuing to organize camp-outs with family and friends, and striking out on my own as a solo hiker for the first time. I moved to Scotland for graduate school, to California to marry the love of my life, and to Germany to advance his career in the military. It was there that my husband Tito and I learned we were expecting our one and only child: a little boy we named Aleks. Throughout my pregnancy, I dreamed of giving him the same kinds of idyllic outdoor experiences that had so happily shaped my own childhood, and prepared to do exactly that as we awaited his arrival in early 2018.

I wish I could say that I took to new motherhood with ease and delight, but in reality I struggled. Really struggled.

My plans to create an adventurous, outdoor-centric family lifestyle quickly gave way to debilitating anxiety, total social withdrawal, and a years-long battle with postpartum depression. Basic, everyday tasks overwhelmed me, and unexplained, unprovoked bouts of anger and despair left me feeling guilty and exhausted. I found myself incapable of undertaking the simplest of errands, from the grocery store to medical appointments to walks to the neighborhood bakery. I could barely take our sweet baby to the mailbox, let alone the top of Mailbox Peak (IYKYK).

In the rare moments I was able to step away, alone, I fled to the only place I felt at “home” in mind and spirit: nature. At first, I hiked short local trails, simply trying to reconnect with the familiar, but with every outing gained more calm, comfort, and confidence. I let tears flow freely, breathed deeply, and practiced walking meditation. With time, I took on new routes, more challenging trails, and pushed myself to places - both mental and physical - that I didn’t know myself capable of reaching.

I realized, in those moments of deep introspection on the trail, that hiking and motherhood (and parenting generally) share so many parallels: ups and downs, winding paths, false peaks, detours to nowhere, and hazards galore. Both are punctuated by intense periods of frustration and exhaustion, followed by moments of euphoric triumph and delight. The nights are sometimes fitful, the mornings often early, and the journey equal parts perilous and rewarding.

This realization gave way to another: if I could get up and over an actual mountain - and take joy in the challenge - I could do the same as a mom. With the help of my loving family and a skilled mental health counselor, I slowly but surely have found a way to do both. Today, I cherish motherhood - with all of its unique complexities - and Aleks and I are finally embarking on those outdoor adventures I so hoped we could enjoy together. Thank you for being here to follow along on our journey!